Are Long Distance Relationships Always Doomed?
We live in a very fast paced world. Interestingly enough, our world has become very long distance in a way. Distant, but connected. As such, our abilities to stay so connected has made our lives become much more global than it ever has been before. This is leading to an ever present problem requiring long distance relationship advice.
Because our world is becoming more global, our lives are becoming more and more global than any other generation in history. There are a number of examples that I could give you to prove that point. Think about your own life. You have probably travelled more, either for business or personal reasons, more times in the past five years than your mother did when she was exactly your age. Unless you are an heiress with global obligations, of course.
If you were, you wouldn’t be here.
But think about that, long distance lifestyles have become a fact of life for many, many people. But you want to know about love and relationships, can love truly supersede the boundaries of time and space? Oh, is that all you want to know? In one article?
Here’s where I stand on that. There is a camp that preaches no to the LDR wide and far all across the land, and their only piece of long distance relationship advice would be, don’t do it. Many stout and well respected leaders in the field of romance, relationships, and dating will say no, you can not make a long distance relationship work.
But then you hear about all of these couples protesting those theories saying, but WE made it work.
I am visiting both sides of the fence on this issue, and here is what I mean by that. There was a time when I refused to get involved in a long distance relationship…again. That’s right, I had been in one, and it didn’t work, distance was primarily an issue. Believe it or not, I’ve actually had more than one of those kinds of relationships, and my guess is, you have too.
How do I know this? Because this is the world we live in now. Life is long distance, almost more often than it is not. People you go to college with now, are only going to be your next door neighbor for the next two or three years. Tops. Jobs crop up all over the country now, and in this labor climate, when they do, you crop up with them and get up and go.
This is just the life we live in now.
We are apart from people more often than many other generations before us. When you add the not so new wave of online dating in the mix, then you increase your chances of living a long distance lifestyle.
When it comes to long distance relationship advice, my advice to you is, use what this generation has been given in the way of technology to make it work, if you truly believe in it. We have resources at our disposal now that are relatively cheap, by that I mean you are talking to a woman who in a prior life paid a dime a minute long distance rates for the aforementioned long distance love. We should use those resources, and make our relationships the best that we can make them given our circumstances.
And yes, here’s my but (you knew it was coming)… I am going to go on side of the fence with the nay sayers for the but.
But you can’t do it forever.
The true growth in every relationship occurs when you are with that one person, face to face, in the flesh, and having your chemistries interact in a fun and positive way that nurtures the growth of the relationship.
You must have that at some point, and many of them, for extended periods, or no, they won’t work.
In other words, if an long distance relationship is a short term one, say, two people going away to different colleges, so long as you both eventually wind up in the same place at the same time for extended periods, you have a shot. If someone needs to get a job on the other side of the country, you either go with them, or work out a commuting situation. If the relationship is worth it, you make it work. But you have to have that time.
So, when it comes to long distance relationship advice, the best advice I can give you is to never give up hope on something that you think is real. If you are lucky enough to have one of those rare real things, and have been able to nurture that long distance love in this crazy world, then you find a way to make it work with the two of you. Every situation is different, and we simply live in a different world. It would be a silly thing to let someone really amazing go just because of their street address.
At the same time, it is equally ridiculous to stay in something that is never going to end up with the two of you winding up in the same place, at the same time, for a long time.
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