I’m always so thrilled to get email and comments from the men in your lives looking for dating advice for men. Some of you may think that’s a little corny and even dare I say, “whipped” but you know what it says to me? It says to me that they care. They care enough to make your lives better by becoming better daters. You gotta love that! I have often joked even about how much I would love to put together a little handbook on dating advice for men, based on all of the tips and tidbits that I would love to leave every man that has left my life with.
Wouldn’t you love that kind of opportunity? To put it in writing what they could have or should have done differently to make your dating experiences better? Think of it your own little way of saying, “Dear Bob, I wish you had called when you said that you would. Maybe then we would have had a chance.” That’s exactly the kind of information we are going to touch on today.
For all of you men that have been touching base to get clarity, this article is for you.
Believe it or not, even today’s man is getting tired of being a player. The fun is short lived, and it is not a fulfilling lifestyle. Unfortunately for us that have suffered a broken heart from one, that doesn’t feel like the case. But it’s true. Even players have learned valuable lessons from you, but they will never say that to your face. They are men after all and have their precious egos to preserve.
Dating Advice for Men? Here we go.
“Dear men, if you are looking for dating advice for you, dating advice for men and only men, you need to do it old school. Sorry to tell you, but as much as we are empowered and independent women of the 21st century, we also are….a lady. And we want you to treat us that way. When you treat us that way, we feel loved, cherished, respected, and desired. And that makes us want to make you….very happy.”
Sounds like that book might be a short book, no?
Well, that’s just the nutshell of it all. You see, when it comes to dating women, you men have a tough time of it today. I will give you that. Women today insist on being independent, empowered creatures that are treated as equals. At the same time, our biological predisposition has kept us the more emotional creatures, because we have to be. Our species wouldn’t survive if one of our genders wasn’t the nurturing, empathetic, compassionate ones.
Not saying you men aren’t nurturing, empathetic, and compassionate. You definitely are. The real men are. The good ones are. But these talents generally lie with the women of our species. Men on the other hand are skilled at being rational, logical, practical, and all of these skills combined help them solve problems for us, and keep us safe, making us feel protected.
These differences combined in a successful relationship are in fact what make the world go round, and the human species survive. As much as we would love to take all of the credit for it, we simply can’t.
We need the men to survive, and the truth is, they need us to. Combining the masculine energy and the feminine energy into a relationship is what makes love a beautiful thing. It’s about balance. Where her skills and talents help in one area of life, his skills and talents help in others.
So how does this translate into dating advice for men? Men need to respect their woman’s need to feel like an equal, while celebrating her differences. What does this look like I can hear you asking. It looks like old school courting, plain and simple.
One of the reasons marriages lasted so long in the 1950’s is this old school style of dating. Today, what you need to do is keep your relationship contemporary, but based on old school principles. Men, court your woman. Call her when you say you will. Call her to ask her out. Open her doors, pull out her chairs, don’t curse in her presence during the dating stages, and then applaud when she tells you about the amazing board meeting she just ran.
If someone upsets her, offer to take them out for her. Don’t actually do it, just offer.
And most importantly, keep your word with her. In the day and age where a man was as good as his word, relationships stayed alive. (Women, this goes for you too by the way.) When you do all of these things, you can’t be a player, because you are too busy being honest and enjoying the experience that she brings to the table in the world of dating.
It really is that simple.
If I ever wrote that book on dating advice for men, these are the kinds of things I would encourage. You can date old school while making her feel like the modern woman that she is. All of these things will make her feel respected, valued, cherished, loved, prized, you get the picture. And the more you do these things, the sooner she will fall in love with you.