How to Get Your Ex Back AFTER The No Contact Period

One of the things you know that I talk about frequently is the No Contact Zone. This is the period of time that you should be taking after a breakup. It is exactly what it sounds like. Step awaaaaay from the computer, telephone, and that little devil of a cell phone. All of these things are so tempting, you want to make that one call, one text, one email, just to make sure he hasn’t forgotten you, and it’s a bad idea. Why? Because he rarely if ever responds, and what that does to you is send you on the spiral of heartbreak all. over. again. I want to save you lovely ladies from this pain, so please, please, no matter how much you want to just touch base, one last time….don’t. If you really want to get your ex back, you need to follow this one crucial step of relationship advice. It is the most important step in getting him back, because not only does it spare you heartbreak, but this space that you give him is just the space you both need for the magic to start working on its own. See, he can’t miss you if he keeps hearing from you.

Many of you, judging by your letters, are taking this advice well. But the tone of many letters seems to be, what next? So that’s exactly what I am going to address today. I speak enough about this critical No Contact Zone, but what do you do next? Today we are going to help one of our friends, I am going to call her Hope, and help her get through what is necessary after the No Contact Zone. So far, as you will see, she’s done everything right. She just needs some encouragement on what to do next.

Here’s what Hope had to say:

Hi Michelle. I’ve been sending you relationship questions ever since but I receive no reply. :( It’s okay I understand you get a little hectic in your schedule. I just want to know how to get my ex boyfriend back if he is seeing a new girl already. :’(

We’ve been for 3 years and I can say he is the best boyfriend anyone could ever have….that’s why it’s hard for me to let go. :’( He broke up with me because of my attitude. I tend to get jealous and angry easily. I have mood swings. He broke up with me for his reason that he got burned out because f our everyday issues and petty fights. :’(

I did everything to win him back. Beg, everything. Even my parents and friends tried to convince him to give me a chance. But nothing happened. :’( We broke up last July. I didn’t text nor call him. But I get to see him everyday because we are both involve in the same organization in our church.

Last week of August, he texted me because he wanted to know what I am up to. That day that we met is the most horrible day of my life. He said that I should be dating other guys now because he is seeing someone new already. Worse, his new girl is the girl in our same organization also. Since then until this October, I made no contact to him. I quit joining the organization the three of us are involve.

I want to get him back, Michelle. I hope you could spend time to answer this. You are God sent to all of us brokenhearted girls here. Thank you so much. :’(

Once again, I’ve highlighted the key areas of concern, and let’s break it down.

For starters, Hope, I want to thank you for all of your kind words. Thank you also for taking so many lengths to touch base with me, I know how important this is to you and we are here to help. Second, I want to congratulate you on everything that you’ve done right. You followed the prescription exactly, stayed well within the No Contact Zone, and what happened?

He contacted you. Forget what he said, just for a moment, and focus on that one key issue.

He contacted you. You made him miss you enough to just check in and see how you were doing. What was one of the first questions he asked? “How is your love life?”

It doesn’t matter if he didn’t use those exact words, he was curious. And if he didn’t care for you at all, 1.) He wouldn’t have bothered to text, and 2.) He wouldn’t have asked you about your love life.

See, if you only just broke up last July, and he’s already with someone else after being with you for three years, I am going to name this girl Rebound Girl. I’ve said this to other readers as well. No man, nobody at all, bounces back and falls in love with someone else mere weeks after he has let someone go that has been a part of his life for three years. Nobody does that.

And for the people that do, you let them go. They are not going to commit to that person any more than they committed to you, and you don’t need those problems.

But this guy, my hunch is that he just needed to get some space from someone that he was fighting with all of the time (I’ll get to that in a minute), and start seeing someone else. The reason he started seeing someone else is so that he could sort of prove to himself that he could find someone he wouldn’t fight with all of the time. So, here comes this nice lady from church and it sounds ideal to him.

Maybe it is ideal to him, but it is not ideal enough, otherwise he wouldn’t have touched base with you. Even THOUGH he said you should have moved on by now, he still touched base with you. If Rebound Girl was meeting all of his needs in love, he would not have contacted you. And him telling you that you should have moved on by now is in my opinion, his way of trying to assuage his own guilt for moving on so quickly. Because I can pretty much bet you dollars to donuts that he would not be happy at ALL if he found out you were seeing someone else right now. I would bet money on that one, Hope.

Do you see why I nicknamed you Hope? Because, this situation has some. And I hope you are feeling that so far.

Now, let’s move to this issue of fighting. The anger, the jealousy, and so on. This kind of behavior speaks of insecurity. And I think the reason this issue lead to so many fights with you is because he probably felt that, if he was with you for three years, you had no reason to be insecure with him. And I would have to agree with him on that one. Not saying you did anything wrong, it’s completely normal for even the longest lasting couples to feel insecure in their relationship once in a while. And for us women, that manifests in the symptoms of anger and jealousy. So the very best dating advice I can give you, for this situation or for any other situation you might find yourself in, if you are feeling those symptoms of anger and jealousy, don’t get mad about it. Sit him down, and say, “I’m feeling this. Can we talk about it? I don’t know why or where it’s coming from, but was wondering if you could help me figure this out, because I don’t want to get mad at you for no reason.”

This helps, and men appreciate this approach over the, “Where the heck have you been all night I’ve been freaking OUT, who were you with???” You, and all other readers may want to review my article on fighting fair, as that gives a lot of tips on dealing with this stuff. Again, it’s completely normal to feel anger and jealous sometimes, you are human. How you deal with those feelings will make all of the difference in what happens next for you in love.

Now, you’ve successfully passed the No Contact Zone, we know this because he contacted you. So what next?

The next step of dating advice that I could give you right now, Hope, is that you are now in a safe place to touch base with him again. I will tell you exactly what to say, but before I do this, it is VERY IMPORTANT that you understand one thing.

You need to contact him with absolutely NO EXPECTATION OR ATTACHMENT TO THE OUTCOME. This is so important. If you attach an expectation to an email or text that you send him, you may end up heartbroken again. If you send him something, not caring how he responds, you will be delightfully surprised at how he moves forward to you. Why? When you don’t care, and they move toward you in your favor, it’s exciting. And you BOTH need that excitement in order to reboot your connection and come together as a couple again.

He hasn’t heard from you in a while, and hasn’t even seen you (Good for you! That must have been so hard!). And so, when he hears from you, he will be pleasantly surprised as well. THIS is going to trigger some of that excitement in him that I just talked about. So what do you say?

You say NOTHING negative. You are going to say something that reminds him how sweet and amazing you are, something that reminds him of you and the reason he fell in love with you. Do you two have an inside joke? Something the two of you shared, open with that and he will be laughing off the bat and it will set a nice tone.

How you contact him will make a difference as well. No phone call, no text. These are very personal methods of contact, and you don’t want to look too personal with this. Remember, you have no attachment to the outcome, you don’t care if you hear back from him or not, and you portray this by sending him a nice quick little email that touches base, and says more in just two or three lines than you could ever say in a phone call.

Here’s what you say, for fun, I’m going to call him Jon.

(Start off with a joke)

“Hi Jon. You know, I saw something today that made me laugh and think of you, remember the time…..and such and such happened and we both laughed our tails off? I saw that today and I couldn’t help but laugh my tail off again! Made me think of you and so just wanted to say hi. Thank you for everything you did for me and for the part you played in my life, it will always mean something special to me. I hope you are well. Love, Hope.”

See how this kind of email doesn’t tell him anything about you and your life right now, other than that you saw something on a particular day. This is called creating mystery. It also tells him something else, that you are grateful for him. He probably is not completely aware of that, given the nature of your fighting. But this tiny little email will speak volumes and will remind him of all of the wonderful things about your relationship, which may well just have him running away from Rebound Girl, and right back into your arms.

If you still want to know how to get him back after this email, drop us some notes in the comments Hope and let us know how this goes, and how it makes you feel. We’re ALL rooting for you, and can’t WAIT to hear what happens next! Good luck!

Get Him Back After Pushing Him Away

Some women find it difficult to cope with a break up simply because they expected the relationship to last forever. This is why magazines offering relationship advice for women are always a hit. A woman’s relationship with a man is a fragile thing, and women who lost their men because of too much bickering, jealousy and other relationship issues know this well.

There are no guarantees when it comes to relationships, regardless of how you started. You may have started out strong, and romance was never a problem between you and your man. But even the strongest relationships hit the skids. Even the marriages that have been around for a long time are not exactly free of problems.

If you know that you’ve found the love of your life but several mistakes inside the relationship made him drift away from you, here are some tips on how to get him back.

One main reason why men stray is the thought that the woman doesn’t want the relationship anymore. Men and women are different when it comes to the reason for staying inside the relationship. If your man feels unneeded, or he thinks he’s getting in your way because of the way he is, he may decide to spare you both the drama and simply leave.

Men have their pride. If you’re the one who caused the break up, he is less likely to come running back to you just because he misses you. Make it known that your doors are open for a possible reconciliation. You can tell some common friends your intentions. Better yet, tell him yourself by calling him. This puts the ball in his court.

When you’re always around hounding him, or you’re always begging him to reconsider his decision to break up, he forgets that you’re the woman he fell for a long time ago. All he thinks about is how to get away from you so he can finally think in peace. Pestering your ex constantly can turn him off for good. It’s easier to have a change of heart if you’re feeling suffocated with bad memories. This is the main reason why desperation is never a good thing when it comes to relationships.
 
Creating distance actually makes you more attractive to him. Making a man miss you by giving him space is a method that’s worth trying. In time, he will remember the good things about you more than the bad things that happened during your break up. Let the pleasant memories of your relationship fill his head so that he can appreciate what a blessing your relationship is despite the occasional fights.

Have a positive attitude so that you won’t waver in your resolve to get your man back. In reality, your real enemy is your mind. Once you decide to let go of that positive attitude, you start stressing yourself out with thoughts of never being with your lover again.

As long as you have decided to stick with your plan to get back together, bad vibes from other people should not affect you. However, you’re human and you can’t help feeling depressed when someone tells you to give up because your situation is hopeless. Stay away from people or scenarios that weaken your resolve.

Relationship Ninja Techniques to Make Him Miss You

Okay, so the worst has happened. 

At least it feels like the worst and the end of the world to you.  Instead of planning your winter vacation with the love of your life, you are trying to figure out how to get your boyfriend back.  It’s okay, we’ve all been there.  We’ve all wondered at one point or another how to make him miss you after he’s given the big heave-ho to you. 

Right now, you aren’t thinking straight.

You think you are, but you aren’t.  All you can think about right now is how sad you are, and how being back together with him is the only thing that will change that. How close am I on how you are feeling? 

We’ve all been there. 

Because you aren’t thinking clearly, we are going to clear up that muddled hotbed of emotions you are going through to help you and so that you can get your boyfriend back.  But how?  

It’s time for Relationship Ninja

Let’s face it. You’re in pretty dire straights if you are online trying to find ways to make him miss you.  Or trying to make your ex boyfriend miss you without looking like the needy clingy girl. 

Again, that’s okay.  We’ve ALL been there. 

But the sad truth is that trying to reason or convince him into doing so is going to work against you.  So what you need to do is step away from all matters that seem logical and rational to you, and follow these Relationship Ninja techniques that will make him miss you. 

If you want to get your boyfriend back, what you have to do is tap into that part of the mind that loves you, this will help make him miss you… and when he misses you, he will come back. 

Here are two very powerful Relationship Ninja techniques that will get his motors running again.

1.  Send him a thank you note… for breaking up with you. 

What, Michelle??? Yes. If things weren’t clear and you never found that infamous “closure” that all breakup-ees seek, this will be a cinch.  If you both are confused about “what happened” or “who broke up with who”, make it official, and break up with him. 

Or, if things are a little more crystal clear than you would like, do the opposite of what you want to do, and send him a thank you note for breaking up with you. Thank him for what he taught you to learn and grow and be a better and bigger person, and wish him all the best.  Yes, it sounds final, but it will make him miss you. 

Why?  For starters, if you do it with the right intent, you are now officially the bigger person, and have some serious points on your side.  This is a good position to be in, because the other side of this is that he will take it as rejection, and rejection is a very powerful tool when it comes to breakups. Ask any man OR womam. It makes the other party go running back in the opposite direction they started in, hopefully, right back into your arms.

You know this because of how you reacted when he dumped you.  You didn’t want to be rejected. You wanted validation that you were still lovable.  Do the same thing to him, but be the bigger person about it, as nice as possible, and….if nothing else, it will get him thinking.  What he will be thinking about is how to reverse this rejection in his favour so that he doesn’t feel so rejected any more.  Chances are, you’ll be the first call. “Hey, I just got your note, that was nice, so…what was that about? And….how are you?”   Send that note. Wait for the call.

2.  Have some fund and start dating again. 

Yes, of course this makes it seem counterproductive to YOU, you don’t want another boyfriend, you want to get your boyfriend back. RELAX. This is a Ninja technique. 

Where you once started with rejection in step one, now you are going to use the powerful tool of jealousy.  You’re starting to get it now? 

 What you want to accomplish with this step is very simple.  You want to make the point that you are moving on with your life. You are sending the message that you don’t need him, that you don’t even need to win him back, because you are fabulous, and now it’s time for the rest of the world to see that.

Do you see the true power of Relationship Ninja?  It’s about you. 

Instead of trying to figure out how to make him love me, try and figure out how to love you.  You don’t know how this is going to work out, but you do know one thing, you need to move on with something at some point.  A true Ninja has not only stealth in their favour, but true intentions. 

Follow these Ninja techniques with the truest of intentions, and you’ve got a very good shot at making him rethink a few things.

Want to Get Him Back? Here’s How

If you are suddenly finding yourself in the position of being single, one thing that might be going through your mind over and over right now is how to get your boyfriend back.  There are few women that don’t wonder this very thing when a healthy relationship ends, and they want to fix it. 

And men, normally the gender in the business of fixing what is broken, seem less than interested at this point.  In fact, it may even feel like he prefers this “thing” you had to stay broken. 

Sound familiar? 

Then you’ve probably been trying ways to make him miss you that aren’t working.  You’ve probably been using old standbys that women for generations have used to get a guy back, and they are counterproductive. 

If you want to truly win him back, you have to change your gameplan. Here’s how.

Emotional Hot Buttons

They are called “emotional hot buttons” and we all have them, and emotional hot buttons on a man are very powerful things.  If you can find a way to control those buttons, or at least trigger them, you will be well on your way to get your boyfriend back. 

The first thing you need to do is stop doing what you are doing, because chances are you are using women’s techniques.  It seems rational to you, because you are a woman, but what will work on your girlfriends when you are sad about something just plain isn’t going to work on your man. 

Because he’s a man.  And men have different emotional hot buttons than we do.

Guy Buttons

To make your ex want you, you  have to tap into these emotional buttons that will change his mindset as well.  When he starts feeling anything differently from the anger, bitterness, or resentment that lead to the breakup, his mindset will begin to turn in your favor, and you have a better chance to win him back.

But you say, “men are supposed to be the logical creatures while we are the emotional ones in society.” 

That’s so true!  And knowing this will be an incredible tool to get your boyfriend back!  Use it.  The more logical a man is, the more predictable he becomes to you as well.  See how what may seem like a disadvantage to you could actually be an opportunity to make him miss you?

If you know that he’s logical, don’t use logic and reason to try and get him back.  And don’t tell him how much you miss him either. 

These are logical rational things that only SEEM logical, and will only drive him further away.  Use his logical and rational frame of mind instead to push his emotional hot buttons.  If you had a good relationship, then you know what those hot buttons are, you know what makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Now you just have to use the sexiest version of you possible to trigger those warm and fuzzies again.

If you don’t want to drive him away, then do the opposite of what he is expecting and this will help trigger those warm and fuzzies.  He will be expecting you to beg for him back or at least tell him how much you want him back. 

What He Does’t Expect

What he won’t expect from you is a little distance, which is the most logical thing to do at this point.  He can’t push you away if you aren’t close, so put that distance in and add a dash of mystery.  Bob Grant relationship expert says “The more a man’s imagination works for you, the more he becomes curious.”

If you are wondering how to make your ex boyfriend miss you, you need to start tapping right into that imagination of his. Make him curious.  You won’t be able to do that if you are in his face begging for his love every chance you get. So, create some emotional distance and get his attention.

New Relationship Advice Helps You Win Him Back

You might just have broken up and are looking for ways how to win him back. You need to know that many women have already achieved their goals by using the techniques developed by experts. You need to know that if you want to get a guy back, you should work on a plan to be able to change your behavior and gain influence over him again. There are different steps of these techniques, and by reading the guide below you will be able to decide on the most suitable technique of how to win him back.

When you want to get a guy back, you need to first look at the reasons why you broke up the first place. It might be that you were arguing a lot, or one of you cheated. No matter what the problem is, you should try and find out why it happened, before you can get a guy back. As women like analyzing relationships more than men, it will be easy to think through your relationship and find where you could have behaved differently. It might be that you were trying to control him, or the opposite: you needed more freedom.

One of the most common reasons of breaking up is that men don’t feel that they are free to do whatever they want to. If this is the case, you need to give him loads of space; that is the most effective way of how to win him back.

If you have been together for a long time, you will know exactly what the real source of your relationship problem was. You should be able to show him that you have changed, and are a different person from the one before the break-up. If you want to get a guy back, you should give them enough freedom and in no circumstances should you call him every day or turn up at his house. If you do that, he will think that he is the more valuable person in the relationship, and will handle you accordingly.

Keep living your life as if nothing happened.

He shouldn’t see that you are thinking about how to win him back. The more natural and happy you appear, the more chance you will have to get a guy back. Make him wonder why you are not heartbroken and offer him to be friends. For the first few weeks you should not meet too much and always be polite, try to do the things he likes doing. If he is not open to starting a friendship, you should start finding out more about his reasons. You will have to use different methods of how to win him back, if he already started a relationship. In that case it will be difficult to remain friends, as the other girl will be jealous.

The best method of how to win him back is to have a makeover and show him a different face than before. If your relationship broke up because you were arguing, you will have to work hard to make him forget about this.

That is why you should always be careful when breaking up; don’t let anger take over if you want to get a guy back.

You can still make him remember the good times and things and forget about the bad things by casually reminding him of that great weekend where you had fun doing something together out and about… and it may have also included a memorable experience between the sheets (but don’t mention that part, he remembers that, trust me).